We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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