i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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