I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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