Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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