haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
