In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
