like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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