there was a trapeze. enough said
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You ruined the universe
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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