Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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