laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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