Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
soo... how was my night?
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