just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
