I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
