We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize