So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
