the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
