Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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