I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
