I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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