Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
