I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize