THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
where are my eyebrows?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
