They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
