we need to drink 2009 down the drain
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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