Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
