pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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