its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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