when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
