the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
