Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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