I have demons in me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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