ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
