I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
