if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
