do herpes really smell.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
