he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
