maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
do herpes really smell.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
