I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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