Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
