you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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