I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
