i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize