At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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