we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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