not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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