i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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