Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
