I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize