I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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