My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
