she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
