He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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