I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize