we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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