guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
