well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
how drunk are you?
Several
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
