you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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