saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
