that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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