Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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